Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Polar Express

Yes people, we're still getting it and everyone is still bitching and moaning about it.  The way the pattern seems to be going is every week or so we get 2 days of extreme cold then the rest of the days are just normal cold.  Ya know, like 10-25 degrees or so.  But a funny thing did happen the other morning.  Yes, it was just the other morning...

I go outside Tuesday morning at 4:45 AM to fire the van up to bring my brother-in-law to work.  It begrudgingly fires to life and I strap myself in and adjust all my dials and such.  Defroster, check.  Rear defroster, check.  Parking lights on.  The Score, 670 AM Sports radio on.  All systems go. 

My cuñado comes out the door and goes over to get the garbage tote as there's some stuff outside the back door to throw in before he takes it down the driveway for garbage day.  Seeing this I roll my window down and offer him my gloves.  He says he doesn't need them so I put them back between the seats and the horror begins!  The fucking window will not move, nothing!  It's rolled all the way down and will not even move an inch back up.  Damn you power windows!

I proceed down the drive behind him, he puts the tote on the curb and then we try to pull up on the window as I'm hitting the button.  Nothing.  Now at this point let me further set the scene.  Having just rolled out of bed, I am wearing shorts and slipper clogs, a pocket tee shirt and a very light flannel jacket.  Dammit I'm a man, and also semi retarded.  Now I am faced with the prospect of driving 8.5 miles in some of the coldest weather I can recall with my window wide open.  Let's go for it!

I pull out on the road and it hits me quickly.  Thankfully said flannel jacket has a hood on it which I quickly employ.  I turn my body to the right away from the pounding wind to no avail.  It's like really cold and shit.  At some point I did put a glove on my right hand as I was starting to lose feeling in my fingers.  The good thing about this trip is we never go over 50 MPH, no highway or anything.

So all the way to the workplace I keep trying the window.  It goes up maybe a half an inch every couple of minutes or so and I swear the motor is now openly mocking me.  By the time we arrive the window is now just about half way up and the van is pretty much fully warmed up, at least engine wise.  I sit for a few minutes after my BIL departs and finally, with almost a gasp the window closes fully.

On the ride home I begin to feel my shoulder again. 

Monday, January 27, 2014


God Damn it's cold over here! I know, I know. It gets old hearing someone bitch about how much colder it is in their part of the world and then of course you get the people that retort with, "Damn, only 63 today, sure is cold out here in Tampa". Sarcasm ensues.

 In all honesty this has got to be the coldest winter I can recall in recent history. This started way too early in the first week of December and hasn't let up yet. I kind of had a feeling we were gonna get it this year cause the last 2 winters were really mild, guess we were due. Now, I wonder what summer's gonna be like...

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Meanwhile, Somewhere In Alabama...

And just before 2 PM on January 23rd, two young lovers finally said, "I do", and became as one in the eyes of Our Lord.  Congrats to Heff and Donna, I firmly believe they were truly meant for each other, which makes it safer for the rest of us.  Heff actually took like 2 days off from work so it must have been pretty serious.  Yours truly was also kind enough to grant them a rain check on his right to Prima Nocta.  I will collect on that the next time I make my way down to HBAG.  Again, happy day you wacky kids! 

Finally, a word from Jack Rebney on the content of this post:

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

What's Happening?

The Blackhawks visit The Joe in Detroit tonight to take on our most hated rival, the Red Wings. Some say the rivalry has kind of died off now that the Wings have gone to the Eastern Conference and we will only see them twice a season. I heard Blackhawks winger, Kris Versteeg offer an alternate take on that yesterday on The Score 670. He said now that we only see them twice a year it might be even more exciting and heated. I can see his point but it still just won't be the same as when you were actually fighting them for a playoff berth/seeding. I will still look ahead on the schedules for many years to come for Detroit though. And of course we now have something else we didn't have before, the chance to meet them in The Stanley Cup Finals. My that would be a series.

In weather news we are still being punished for the previous two mild winters we enjoyed. We've already gotten like 36" of snow this season and the forecast for the next few days is all single digit and teens temps with like 3-4 snow systems all stacked up and moving through. Jesus, if this doesn't break I might actually have to put on some long pants!

Finally, if you are on Twitter and if you're not then you need to be, if only to follow yours truly.  You never know where and when thought provoking topics or raucous original comedy is gonna be unleashed.  When it does, you want to be there.  Follow me at @WilHarrison, you'll be glad you did.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Let Me Eat Cake

Yesterday we celebrated my 46th year on this Earth.  My birthday is actually today, the 20th, but who wants to do that shite on a Monday?  Here we have the cake and an idea of the kind of things I have to put up with here.  It's always light and festive.

Ahh, fun was had by all.  As for loot I was lucky enough to get these fine slipper things, a couple of Amazon gift cards and "NHL 14" for XBOX and also "Rocksmith 2014" for XBOX which I had wanted to try out.  Let's see how well I can do at this learning to play guitar, LOL.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

For God Is A Jealous God

That he decideth to take three of us away on the same day. Oh the humanity! Reuben Kincaid checks out at 82.

And he calls The Professor home to The Kingdom at 89.

And to finish the day's trifecta he also called home the last female munchkin, Ruth Robinson Duccini, after 95 years on Earth. My. my.  There must have been a back-up at The Pearly Gates today friends.  Bless them all on their final voyage, may you live on forever in our hearts and syndication.  

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Happy Birthday!

Yes! Just in time for my birthday next Monday the 20th, I've discovered these "Dong Slings". This is going right to the top of my Amazon Wish List! Now which color, I just can't decide.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Hold Fast!

After all the snow we've gotten in the past couple of weeks or so followed by the arctic temps, it took a turn on Friday and decided to warm up to 40 and start raining. And rain it did! The water was literally pouring into (or should I say, under) the back door. What a mess it created. As of this writing all is well again and under control. Nothing more to see here.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Do You See What I See?

As soon as I saw this pic, I saw it. I wonder if anyone else can see it? It literally hit me right in the face.

My Body's Numb And My Throat Is Dry

My nephew brought me a couple of bottles of this fine brew a week or so ago. I put one up for display but now I can't decide what to do with the other one. Do I send it to Heff? Do I drink it first and then send it to Heff? Do I just say, "Fuck Heff"? It's not like I can't get more. I guess I probably should send it to him.

"Only the finest hops and barley are selected personally by Bruce"

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Winter Bash!

Yep, it's pretty cold here, just as they said it was gonna be.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Snowblind 14!

The inclement weather continues. Here's the view on Sunday afternoon before what could be the coldest day ever in Chicago hits on Monday. We're all gonna die!

The snow on the table def got a little bit deeper since this morning. Probably should have thrown that garbage out before the storm. "Like so much garbage..." LOLZ.

Driving Snow

Just a little bit of the drive back from dropping off Felix at work at 5 AM. There's a good foot or more of snow on the ground, has been falling for the last 2 days, plows having trouble keeping up. Or should I say the drivers need to sleep sometime and are probably beat.