Monday, December 29, 2014

Christmas Fun!

So, what do you get for the man that has everything (within reason)? Or should I say for the man that buys himself everything he could possibly want (once again within a big reason)? More toys! I got this dandy dragstrip and the nephews and I were treated to minutes of fun and excitement, chills and spills. There's already talk of new cars being acquired, leagues forming and wagers being placed.

This thing is flat out awesome, I highly recommend! I listen to a lot of music on my phone, sometimes when I'm actually awake, and this thing kicks ass. It has nice, clear tone to it with surprising bass that doesn't break up easily. For less than $30 you can't beat it.

Here was an after Christmas gag gift that I just received tonight. I absolutely hate this God Damn thing and it's constant barrage of sad attempts at humor on Facebook and the like. No, it is NOT funny to show a picture of The Elf shitting Hershey's Kisses hundreds of times over and over. It's just not. You can giggle and chortle and guffaw all you want. That also goes for sitting it on the toilet and whatnot. I'm gonna stop now.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and we all make it to another New Year.

BONUS! - For those that actually came over here from Facebook and bothered to read this whole piece, you've just earned $1.73 via Paypal for your patronage.  

Monday, December 22, 2014

New Rules!

Now here's a new law starting Jan. 1 that makes some sense, definitely an old wrong righted.  Remember every time you would get a moving violation ticket (in your younger years of course) they would take your license and then invariably in the 2 months till your court date you would get pulled over again and then get arrested cause you were riding on a ticket?  Or you would have like 27 occasions when you REALLY needed your license in that 2 months and they wouldn't accept that damn faded and folded 6 times ticket you had?  No more!

For you non-Illinois residents, yes, they really did this.  I can't tell you how many times I got pulled over "riding on a ticket" and ended up getting arrested cause I didn't have my actual driver's license on me.  Or how may times back in the days before debit cards and whatnot when people actually used to write checks or did banking at the physical bank that I was denied transactions and the like because I didn't have my license on me.  Yes, I guess I could've gotten a "State ID" but nobody thought of that then, that was for people that didn't have driver's licenses! 

So after January 1st, I say to you all, drive fast and take chances! All is well! 

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Wil Harrison: Local Celebrity?

Got this in the mail today, hooray for me! The thing that's perplexing me is how in the Hell did they get my address? I'm quite sure I've never filled out anything there and in fact have only been there like twice in the last 3 or 4 years. The envelope was even addressed (handwritten) to "Wil" so they must have really good intel.

Now mind you I am in no way bothered by this, just curious. I am all over the internets with my many dealings and comedy/entertainment stylings but I never divulge my exact address. Hmm. Maybe I should run right over there today and get to the bottom of this, and of course use this gift certificate!
Editor's Note: I just Googled "Wil Harrison" and found my address in like 14 seconds. Ok, now I'm somewhat bothered.  Fuckin' internet!

Hey, maybe they want me to do a couple of spots for them or something?  "I'm Wil Harrison, and whenever I'm in beautiful Calumet City, Illinois, there's only one place I'll stop (literally) to satisfy my immense hunger..."

Yeah, maybe not. 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Excessive Production

Have you ever noticed how many different screens you have to go through to get to the damn movie? And I'm not even talking about the 5-12 minutes of preview trailers. I'm talking about all the different production companies and filmmakers and such. Of course they all have to have their own special logo promo things and all that too. Does anybody really care?

I sat down to watch a movie the other day and went through this after of course viewing 5 trailers for upcoming movies that they would like me to see. I decided to fire up the camera to illustrate my point. Enjoy?

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Tweeting With Celebs!

My "conversation" with Lou Diamond Phillips after I called him out for bad joking.  "Good luck with your music"?  He's about 28 years late with that comment.  He must have actually looked at my profile and saw the guitars banner.  Jesus, who will I talk to next?  Charlene Tilton?  C. Thomas Howell?  Kristy McNichol?  Celebrity cavalcade!

Also, note the shout-out at the bottom to my Uncle whom I reckon thought he was sending a private message.  Wil on Twitter, a non-stop thrill ride! 

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Sunday Night Wrap

 "Damn Baby!

Good episode of "The Walking Dead" tonight, lots of action and quality kills. The Blackhawks pounded the Dallas Stars 6-2, that was fun. Now all I have left to watch is my other 4 shows that come on Sunday night. Thanks God for Xfinity On Demand!  I'll catch up with them later.

Speaking of the Blackhawks game, this happened in the 1st period.  Hells yeah!

And remember kids, please recycle. No, these aren't ALL mine!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014 Reports: Winter Is Coming

You know it's a pretty good sign that something wicked this way comes when they start unloading the heavy equipment at the shopping center for it's 6 month or so stay. I happened to be there today when this went down so I figured I'd run a little tape, God I'm so not looking forward to another winter.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Meticulously Inclined

The other day I picked up some extra attachments and whatnot for my Dremel, which is a must have tool in my opinion.  I then proceeded to spend at least 2 hours going through them, finding out exactly what each of them was for and then categorizing them as such. 

Ahh, job well done. Sometimes I really like myself, and sometimes not.

That's it for now peeps. Just got done watching the United States Grand Prix (Hamilton!) and I've got lots more stuff to watch tonight including Blackhawks hockey and The Walking Dead! Why does everything you actually want to watch on TV all air on Sunday?

Friday, October 24, 2014

Taking Flight

The other day, just for the hell of it, I bought this off of Amazon for all of $25. I've always been interested in RC cars and planes, slot car race tracks, bubble hockey and many other juvenile types of things. So I figured why not, let's get one and try it out. The verdict: This thing's a lot of fun. We've beaten the hell out of it and so far it just keeps going. I do have to admit that I am not the best pilot though.

The first time I tried to fly it looked like a carnival "test of strength" game. Up and down, up and down. Level off you bastard! So my smart ass nephew comes in and tells me to let him try. He then proceeds to fly it with near flawless precision, I swear to God he actually made it somersault and loop a couple of times. Damn kids! Of course this is a young person that if I recall correctly was actually born with a game controller in his hand. Yes, fun for all. I think I actually enjoy watching him fly it more than I do flying it myself.

Check out these exciting videos! The first one is him flying it that first night and the second is him flying it outside early this morn. "Indoor Use Only" my arse!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014


You're a dumbass, no two ways about it.

More fun with credit cards! It looks really cool accept for that stupid black magic marker someone used on it.

Finally, just sit back and enjoy this. I so want to go to there!

Friday, October 17, 2014

Catch The Rainbow

Just got this the other day and I am pretty stoked. This is the Ronnie James Dio Rainbow Era Statue from Knucklebonz. I pre-ordered it sometime back in like June or so! As you can see it makes for a charming addition to my manly decor. #137 of a 1000 piece total run. Yeah, I know you're jealous. Long Live Rock N Roll!

As always, click on the pics for a closer look.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Physical Graffiti

Ahh, nothing says minutes of fun like a piece of chalk. My nephews, who should be much too old for such tomfoolery, nevertheless were playing around outside with chalk the other day. Apparently they felt it would be helpful to remind me where my smoking area was just in case I suddenly lost my way. It seems that now not only am I fat but suddenly I am also gay. There's a lot of love here, I am truly blessed.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Le Mans!

Ok, this IS the coolest thing these eyes have ever seen. WHEN I when the lottery people. When.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

"There Is Nothing Wrong With Your Television Set..."

This is the kind of stuff you run into late at night/early in the morning. I watched this for 37 minutes, I couldn't turn away.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

46 Years of Me

I was playing around the other day with my video editor program and discovered I could get screen snapshots (DUH!).  I got silly with it and created a lot of the music performance pics you will see here. After messing with that for a few hours I opened up the movie maker to see what I could do with that. I added music and came up with this rather creepy ode to myself. Really hoping this isn't my "swan song" cause that would kind of like suck and shit.

Editor's Note: I could have added a wider variety of pics age wise but I didn't realize I was crafting a theme at the time. Also, I am pretty sure there are only about 5-7 pics in existence of me from say age 25-35 (Before digital cameras and such).  What the hell, this is a first take.  

Monday, September 8, 2014

Wil Does "Metal Health"

I was going through some of my thousands of vids tonight and I of course saw many that made me seriously LOL. I came across this one and realized I had never sent it to anyone cause the file size was too large. What the hell, let's put it on YouTube then says Wil.

I recorded this in May of '12 when I was obviously bored and sitting at the computer. I give you "Metal Health". The motto here is, "I can still rock, and I have most of my hair. Sadly that last part also applies to my teeth."

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need to run up to the Walgreens.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Behold My Wood!

Happy New Guitar Day to me!  Added this 2011 American Special Stratocaster (Candy Apple Red) to the fleet yesterday.  Came with locking tuners and Dimarzios, nice mods I probably would have done myself.  I think I pretty much have my Strat base covered for now.  For now.  In the words of the young people nowadays, YOLO bitches!  Fucking Rock! 

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Open All Tabs "White Noise"

This is what happens when you open all the tabs in your music instruction/performance folder at once. Strange how they just kind of blend together.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Gentleman, Start Your Engines!

My youngest nephew, Ryan, FINALLY went to get his driver's license today. As Wil waits in the van, it seems like a great time to record the event for posterity. "Hilarity" ensues!

First, to the staging area:

And we're off! The commentator that is.

And now we're off!


Success! After 5 long years Ryan has finally done it! I couldn't be happier for him or me!

(Editor's Anal Retentive Note) - Nick's Nissan Altima stunt vehicle is actually a 2006 model, not a 2005 as it was mistakenly referred to in the live action filming.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Every Guitar I've Ever Owned

In order, with price paid to the best of my recollection.  The ones in red are still currently in my stable. 

No Name Stratocaster Copy (Bought New) - $95
77 Fender Stratocaster Hardtail - $420
83 Ibanez SB-70 (Bought New) - Trade
83 Lotus Explorer (Bought New) - $325
79 Fender Stratocaster - $475
71 Dorado Acoustic - Gift
(?) Dean Budweiser- $40
91 Washburn KC-40V - Trade
72 Gibson SG - $225
97 Fender MIJ Ritchie Blackmore Sig. Stratocaster - $550
01 Ibanez Acoustic (Bought New) - $300
(?) Washburn Billy T - Trade
(?) Washburn Billy T - $150
80 Hamer Special - $500
99 Fender Stratocaster Hardtail - $650
(?) Vinci Strat-Type Electric - Gift
80 Hamer Special - $800
07 Fender Highway One/Musikraft Partscaster - $615
10 Fender Squier Affinity Jazz Bass (Bought New) - $200
82 Ibanez SB-70 - $245
11 Washburn Hannah Montana (Bought New) - $60
09 Minarik Lotus Studio Extreme - $385
98 Fender Stratocaster Hardtail - $725
13 Yamaha APX-500II Acoustic (Bought New) - $300
08 Fender Billy Corgan Sig. Stratocaster - $875

Fun Statistics: - 

$7,935 over 35 years.
Out of 25 guitars only 6 of them were bought new.
Almost 1/4 of them have been Fender products.
I'm not done yet.

In case you are wondering about the recently acquired Stratocaster featured in the "New Guitar Day!" post below, that is currently in negotiations to be returned.  I will update on that later.  Yes, we have a problem.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Quote Of The Day

"There comes a time when you realize it does no good to be jealous of other people's lives and resign yourself to the fact that you're just a fuck up." - Wil Harrison

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

New Guitar Day!

Scored this bad fella on eBay, should be in my hands Friday. 2011 Am Std Stratocaster in Candy Cola Red. Got it for a good price, I'm pretty chuffed! I was really GASing for Surf Green but this one caught my eye and I jumped into the auction and made it my bitch! Rock on!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Playin' With Paisley

A guy on my Strat-Talk page posted this the other night.  Apparently it was he that this happened to.  Pretty cool.  I'm not a big country fan but this Paisley cat seems like a pretty good guy and a damn good player also.  Just a couple of days ago he was out the playing around with the Westboro Baptist Church fucks: 

Seems like an all around pretty cool dude in my book. 

Sunday, June 1, 2014


Ann B. Davis checks out at 88.  Goodbye Alice. 

Friday, May 30, 2014

"So Flippin' Fast"

God I hate that commercial where the lady says that. I think it's an AT&T commercial but for the life of me I can't remember right now, even though I've seen it on TV and heard it on the radio like 736 times. I guess my beef is, if you're in a situation where you can't use the word, "fuck", don't bother. Don't replace it with "flippin'", that just sounds stupid. I have to admit I sometimes have used "frickin'" myself which sounds equally stupid and pedestrian. To sum up, if you're in that situation just redo the sentence to say something like, "That's pretty damn fast" or "Wow, that's pretty quick" or the like. Also not accepted is when you ask me a question as a statement. "That's really fast, am I right?" Yes, I guess you're right, why do you need my affirmation?

Now, why is it I still kind of chortle when people say, "Shut the front door!"  I just don't know.  

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Quote Of The Day

"If all of that past lives and shit really exists than I must have been a serial killer in one of mine cause I sure am paying for something in this round." - Wil Harrison

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Me & Indianapolis

Will Harrison

There are a few days in the year when I miss my Father, today is one of them.  Not that I don't miss him everyday but my Dad and I were never what you would call close.  We weren't "pals" or "buddies" or anything like that.  My Dad wasn't a hunter or a fisherman or the like.  We didn't go to baseball games or huddle around the TV on Sundays to watch football.  As I grew up I got into sports much like my friends did.  I loved baseball and hockey, etc.  My Dad was never really into sports at all, could care less.  Except when it came to auto racing.  

My Dad loved auto racing.  My Dad was a car guy.  My Dad was a Mopar man.  Now mind you he wasn't so into it that he had a Hemi Charger in the garage and his world revolved around it or something, much to my chagrin.  My Dad liked to watch auto racing on TV and he always had a Chrysler product in the driveway, as do I.  Growing up one of the few things that "bonded" my Dad and I together was racing.  I fondly recall the Sundays back in the early 70's watching Richard Petty battle it out with David Pearson, Cale Yarborough and the boys.  To my eyes and I'm gonna guess my Dad's there was nothing more beautiful than this:

Petty Vs Pearson

Back in the early 70's my Dad was the fire chief/safety supervisor at an oil refinery here in Chicago.  Somehow, I don't recall exactly how it happened, they and other refinery safety personnel were asked to come to Indianapolis to work safety with the pit crews for the races.  Basically when a car came into pit they would jump out there with the crew and hold a fire extinguisher on them in case anything went wrong.  Mind you they did this only wearing a regular non flame retardant everyday shirt and clothes.  Yes, 70's safety at it's best!  As far as I can remember they weren't compensated anything for this but then again who cares!  What it comes down to is my Dad and 3-4 other guys got to go to the race every year and hang out in the pits! 

Back in the early 70's we had a Winnebago which meant we got to go along too a couple of times.  Oh the things I saw as a youth the day and night before the race!  Debauchery abound!  If you've never been to an Indianapolis weekend it's like a scary Mardi Gras.  Anything goes.  Anyway, I digress.  

AJ Foyt, The Man

My love for open wheel racing was born.  Men with names like Foyt, Andretti and Unser became part of my youth.  The Indy trips ended in 1980 or so but I will always have the memories.  From then on every year without fail I would be at home in front of the TV on race day.  I knew my Dad would be too.  My parents were divorced when I was 14 and I didn't really see my Dad too much, hence the specialness of a bonding agent such as this.  

As the years went by Dad continued to watch NASCAR which I had gone away from.  I got tired of the 37 different sponsor Chevrolets and the cookie cutter cars with restrictor plates to slow them down (WTF?) and all that crap.  I preferred the exploits of Michael Andretti and Paul Tracy and Nigel Mansell!  

To finally make sense of all this rambling, auto racing is one thing that Dad and I could share.  As much as were alike we weren't.  I had abandonment issues and he didn't know how to talk to me, or didn't really want to.  I tried my hardest to prove to him that I didn't need him, but when all hope was lost I would have to swallow my pride and go to him for the solution.  

Will and Wil at the 1979 Indianapolis 500

So just before 11 or so this morning when Jim Nabors sings "Back Home Again in Indiana" for the 42nd and final time I will be sitting in front of my TV crying, much as I am now.  Is it because I love Jim Nabors?  No.  Is it because I was born in Indiana?  No, I wasn't.  It's because as we grow older we seem to lose more and more of what we held dear and what we embraced and try to hold onto of our youth.  The end of an era.  

My Dad won't be in front of the TV today, he died in 2009.  But I will be and I will think of him fondly and remember those moments in time.  "They're racing at Indianapolis!"  


Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Aww Hail No!

We got pounded by almost golf ball sized hail last night during a rather brutal thunderstorm.  Climate change my ass!  As always, Wil was there with camera and witty commentary. You can't see a lot but you can hear it and of course the narration is free. 

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Just Because

As soon as I saw this pic I LOLed big time.  This is so my sense of humor and so something I would do.  I had to share! 

Also, GO BLACKHAWKS!  That is all. 

Monday, May 12, 2014

Triple Play

Looking through the pics folders, figured I'd post a few.  As always, click on the pic to really get a look at them, and shit. 

Chicago this past winter

Got this from Beggar's the other night, might be the best pizza I've ever had, and I've had alot!  I actually called them up and told them how excellent it was. 

For those that have always wondered, here's where The Commander resides.  Take the driveway to the right past the black Honda and there I is!  BTW, this pic was taken on a Tuesday.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Game #4

Game #4 is on tonight.  Blackhawks are up 2-1 in the best of 7 series.  Here's to victory tonight and closing this series out on Sunday.  GO HAWKS! 

Monday, May 5, 2014

Hemorrhoidal Issue

After yet another particularly painful and interesting "movement" this morning (for sharing, yes, you're welcome) I went out to The Smoking Area to recover and my mind fell into one of my usual comedic spells and started to wander. I began to riff on band names (ala The Illinois Entertainer) and came up with these and many more. Feel free to add your own.

1 - George Brett's Hemorrhoids

2 - An Enemy At The Gates

3 - Pass The Knife

4 - Bumpy Starfish

5 - Failure To Launch

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Capt Crunch!

Just wanted to throw up this video that I saw on Facebook.  Holy Shit!  Anyway, more later, lots of stuff going on.  Ok, not really. 

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

From The Newsroom...

Woman With Engineered Vagina Says She Has 'Normal Life'

Ohio Soccer Player Is Dangerously 'Allergic' to Her Own Sweat

Car Bursts Into Flames While Family Is Inside Lion Enclosure

And finally on a personal note, when are women gonna start dressing like this again? I just totally dig this look. I mean, check out the 3rd chick, she ain't even got no feets!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Death Alley Driver

Now anyone that knows me personally knows that I am quite the driver. I've long prided myself on my driving prowess as I really don't have a lot of other tangible skills to promote. So, when I make a mistake I feel like an ass but have to laugh at myself cause hell, everyone else is.

As you can see above, I cut it just a little too close to the curb the other day at the local Kmart. Yes Kmart, people do still shop there, at least for a little while longer before they finally close. My Nephew thought it was such good fun that he had to take a picture of my new Michelin "Yellow Wall". My first thought was, "Holy shit, did they just paint that curb?" Damn that seems like a little much, I only brushed it!

I've decided to just leave it on there and let it fade away naturally. I mean we're coming out of winter anyway and perhaps it gives my vehicle a little more character or even signals to people to stay away from this one, he just doesn't care.

Happy motoring everyone, see you on the streets!

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Mixed Bag

Just had to put this out there for all my guitar playing friends and pretty much anyone that likes a good laugh. It's only 53 seconds, trust me, it's worth it.

Looking forward to F1 at Bahrain tomorrow morning, give 'em Hell Louis! All Mercedes AMG front row, yes! IndyCar will be at Long Beach next Sunday. The White Sox have started out their season 2-3 but have been competitive in every game. If the bullpen could get it together we'd probably be 5-0. Hey, there's still 157 games to go, LOL. The Blackhawks pulled out a victory with about 3 seconds to play last night, good win. We'll be hosting the hated St. Louis Blues tomorrow. Jeez, I have a lot of sports to watch!

In music news we've moved a guitar from the "Current Guitars/Gear" category to the "Guitars Of The Past" section today as I sold my '80 Hamer Special to some guy from downstate. I put it on Craig's the other night and he was all over it, drove 2+ hours here today to get it. I have to say I never really bonded with it, I guess I'm just too much of a Strat type. It definitely went to a good home and I even made a profit on it so cheers. The Hamer was the first guitar I bought just about 4 years ago now that set off my blizzard of guitar acquisition phase that ended last August when I got the Billy Corgan Sig Strat I had been looking for. Yes, that phase is over. Over. No, really.

Finally, for those that might have missed it on Facebook, this really did make me frickin laugh today. I'll never grow up.

Have a nice weekend.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Sports Wrap Up and Shite

White Sox Opening Day!  

Yeppers, baseball returned today as the White Sox took the field against our hated rivals, the Minnesota Twins.  Chris Sale went 7+ strong innings and the bats came out to lead us to a 5-3 victory.  It's gonna be a long season, just hope we can remain competitive. 


The second race of what is looking to be a very exciting season of F1 took place in Malaysia early Sunday morn.  Lewis Hamilton took off and never looked back for his 1st win of the season.  Hell yeah!  Oh, I feel so bad for Sebastian Vettel making the podium in 3rd.  Fucking Not!  Next race is the Gulf Air Bahrain Grand Prix this Sunday. 

IndyCar began it's season Sunday also with the Grand Prix of St Petersburg in Florida.  Will Power took the win for Team Penske in an excellent race from start to finish.  There was controversy on the newly redesigned single file restart when race leader Power seemingly stepped on the brakes causing a slew of cars behind him to run into the car in front of them.  I am sure they will be looking into that, gotta be a better way to do that.  Next race up is on the Streets of Long Beach on April 13th.  

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

It's All Or Nothing

Why do I let things like this bother me so much?  Yes, I will actually sit there and make sure every bit of that protective foil shit is off of there.  If I don't, it will drive me nuts.  OCD much?

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

My Mane Man

I saw this the other day as I was doing some bill paying and thought to myself, "This guy looks like a choad".  I just don't understand this style at all.  Maybe it's because I've been blessed with a full head of hair even now at 46.  It really is my only good feature so maybe I'm a little biased.  In all reality I probably have more hair above the neck than I have on the entire rest of my body.  Yeah, really.

Anyway, what is up with guys post-30 and these dumbass hairstyles?  His hair looks like a frickin' wigwam to me.  Pictured below is what a real man looks like.  And so endeth the lesson.

Wait, one last thought.  When in the hell are frosted jeans coming back? 

Friday, February 28, 2014

Misc. Thangs

Jesus, I sure am busy over here doing nothing.  I will do a proper update soon. Until then, here's some quick shite.

We have another storm coming this weekend.  We're expecting 4" to 6'.  Does it really matter anymore?

Spring training baseball has begun!  Hope springs eternal.  GO WHITE SOX!

Saturday night or tomorrow as it were (that's twice today I've used that phrase, probably incorrectly),  the Blackhawks are hosting the Penguins in yet another outdoor game at Soldier Field.  You can kiss my arse if you think I would be going to that.  F-U.  I will be just fine here in My Lair watching it on the telly.

God Dammit!  I swear I haven't touched a single guitar in more than a week.  WTF!  Not like I don't have the time.  See, I could be doing that right now instead of this.

Got these the other day, I HIGHLY recommend this product.

Holy shit!  Saxon just came on my Media Player. "Wheels Of Steel!"

Also, after talking to my mate Colin, the other day I am looking forward to the upcoming racing seasons for IndyCar and F1.  IndyCar begins March 30 with The Grand Prix of St. Petersburg and F1 bows with The Australian Grand Prix on March 16!  I plan on trying to follow both closely this year.  Sorry, I don't do NASCAR.  

Aight peeps, lemme go and do something else now.