Friday, December 30, 2011

The Loot

Ok, so here is what Wil wound up getting for Christmas. What a strange mix of stuff.

An early present was this fine Bed In A Bag set that Wil had picked out from WalMart and Gina was nice enough to buy for him. I wanted something in blue and I desperately needed it so I got this earlier in the month. It is indeed very nice.

I was definitely wanting and needing this handy bundle for my new Samsung Stratosphere. I put it on my Amazon Wishlist and my nephew Nick got it for me. Cool, someone actually looked at the Wishlist, it really works! I really like the clip on the back of the cover that enables you to prop it up horizontally, that is really cool.

Also from Nick and my Amazon Wishlist is this book from the late, great Bob Probert. Yes, Wil occasionally reads and as most of you know Wil was/is a huge fan of Bob Probert. They were working on this book when Bob checked out in July of '10 and his wife and the author went ahead and finished it. I am sure it is gonna be a good, interesting read. The first sentence of the book is "Tie Domi was a little fucker, and I figured, "Why not?" Yes, should be fun for the whole family.

My nephew Jon gave me this cool White Sox tumbler that can microwave, be frozen, thrown off a cliff, survive a nuclear holocaust, etc. I will use this regularly.

No, this is not a joke. For those of you that don't know I currently live with my sister's family which includes my 2 younger nephews, Nick and Ryan. Now mind you they are 24 and 18, respectively. That doesn't mean they're not chuckleheads though and everyone in the house must be armed. Yeah, it's like that.

Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't mention that we were able to get Gina up here from Louisville for Christmas also which was nice. She came up Christmas Eve and stayed until Thursday morning which made probably the best Christmas I've had in a decade complete.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Well That Was Fun

The holiday has now come and gone and it truly was the best one I've had in a long time. Here is a pic of the festive Commander. I'll fill you all in on the gifts and such tomorrow. Hope everyone had a great day!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Every Picture Tells A Story, Don't It?

Today for you I have a few random photos and 1 video clip just for the hell of it.  Enjoy.

My youngest nephew Ryan walked up to my door with our niece Jocelyn yesterday and fell into this pose for no reason. Jocelyn looks totally bewildered, as was I but it was funny as hell. "God, why hast thou forsaken me!?"

Yes, Christmas is right around the corner. Tonight Ryan and I went out and got all of the rest of the supplies for our massive Christmas feast/party that we're having this year. I am actually looking forward to Christmas for the first time in many o' moons. Here's a shot of Wil on Christmas Day, 1973. God I loved that purple suit thing!

Speaking of Christmas, as was referenced a few times on this blog in the last week or two, this makes me seriously LOL every time:

Just for reference, in the words of Heff, "This is where the magic happens".

Here's a couple of assbags that have nothing better to do with their time. Truly sad.

The Blackhawks defeated the Montreal Canadiens tonight 5-1 at The UC. The last time I looked Detroit (sucks) was losing to Vancouver late in the 3rd so that is also a good thing.

Wil's awesome head of hair continues to grow at an alarming rate.

If I don't make it back this way before then, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and what not to all.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Kim Jong ILL, And Other Shite

The world will surely be mourning the death of the enigmatic North Korean President, Kim Jong Il, who checked out at the age of 69. Huh, let's see what happens next in this hotbed of freedom and civil rights. I'm thinking not a lot, but ya never know. See you later there Kim, I loved you in Team America: World Police.

Wil is headed off to the Dentist today after having successfully knocked out the abscess that plagued him most of the week. Tooth #12, your time is up biotch! I will be in the chair at 1:30 PM CST, think of me fondley, oh yesth!

I'll take a 5 minute major and a game misconduct for checking from behind please

The Blackhawks ran their winning streak to 5 straight as they pounded the Calgary Flames 4-2 Sunday night at The UC. They now have the most points of any team in the league and oh, Detroit still sucks. Speaking of 5 and a game misconduct, the victory did not come cheap as Defenseman Brent Seabrook got taken out of the game by Rene Bourque.

They are actually good friends in real life and I really don't think Rene meant to injure him, nothing really malicious here. We shall see how long Seabrook is lost for in the next day or so as right now he is just listed with the old "upper body injury".

And just to show you that Wil is a real Blackhawks fan, here's your sign...

This pic also serves as a hair, and now beard growth official update, much to Heff's chagrin. Just to remind everyone of our goal, here is what we are shooting for:

Fucking LOLZ! Have a nice day peeps!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Video Corner

Here's one from last night's Blackhawks-Wild game that is a must see. They go to the shootout and here's what happens:

Wanted: Patrick Kane

Crime: Rape

Victim: Nicklas Backstrom

Now the ruling is, for you non-hockey folk, that the shooter cannot stop, he must always be moving forward and he only gets one shot. These shootouts are getting more and more creative all the time and they're going right to the farthest bending of this rule. Hey, this one was good, don't count your President's Trophy yet Minnesota. Just for the record, Wil is not a fan of the shootout.

Here's one now from the best morning news show in Chicago and probably the country for that matter: WGN Morning News. Robin Baumgarten is constantly being beaten up and pounded on (hell yeah) by the men folk, it happens daily.

Whenever you're in Chicago, always tune into Ch 9 for your morning news from 4-9. Finally, here is an instructional video on how you are supposed to report the news. I love this one.

There you have it. Three fine, entertaining videos hand picked and edited by Wil that no one will actually watch in their entirety if at all. Wil is off to do some tradin' and such as today is payday and I gots to go and gets mine. I also have to go and get me some more medifications to finally knock out this abscess so I can get it taken care of on Monday. I thought the appt was for Wednesday, it's actually on Monday which is more gooder. I've always loved you...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Paging Dr. Maven, Dr. Maven...

Ow God Dammit this frickin' hurts! As you can see, the left side of my face (the right side as you're looking at this) is all kinds of swollen up, more so than usual (fat!). Sunday morning I noticed a little pain in my cheek (oh yesth) and knew what was coming. Abscess time! As my sister is an amateur pharmacist I was able to score some amoxicillin and the battle was on! Throw in Elvis sized doses of Ibuprofen and we've been battling it out ever since then.

It hurt like 4 kinds of motherfuckers for a good 24 hours or so then I woke up late Monday afternoon from a short sleep and discovered I had no pain. And when I say short sleep I mean just that. Whenever I am sick I don't like to lay down, I have to be sitting up. I call it "The Defensive Mode". Just like whenever I have to throw up, which is a rarity, I have to do it in the sink, not in the toilet. But that's a story for another day.

So for the past day and a half I've literally been sitting on the side of my bed with a flannel throw wrapped around me watching bad TV. I've fallen asleep numerous times in that span but I've managed to not fall forward or back. There have been some close calls though, it's actually quite comical. Wil is a Master of sleeping sitting up.

As of this writing I am in minimal pain, just still quite swollen. I noticed that the lump or mass if you will has now moved from the high cheek area down into the lip and gum area. I am not a Dentist, but I've played one in the bedroom (WTF?) and I am guessing at the height of the pain it must have been pushing against a/the sinus cavity or something. I just don't know. I will report back later with the exciting outcome.

And now, if you would kindly refer to the comments section, I have a feeling that we are about to get schooled by an actual Dental Health professional, which is pretty cool.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Cbox Returns!

Yeah, this place is looking more and more like 2005 all the time. I swear to God I'm not putting that damn "Top Commenters" or "commentators" widget back up though, you have to draw the line somewhere. Anyway, if you'll look to the right and down a little bit you'll see the Chat, which I believe I used to call it "TOL Message Board" back in the day. I always kind of thought of it more as a message board I think cause it's not like people were actually sitting there chatting in real time, it was more just for posting random thoughts etc., that didn't pertain to an actual post. But, if you look back through the history, you'll see that peeps were actually chatting occasionally. Oh well, have at it bitches.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Throw Me A Penny And I'll Make You A Dream

This is definitely worth your time to go and check these out:

The 45 Most Powerful Photos Of 2011

And now on a less serious like note:

Here's a great story from the local news:

Wheeling man in 'erectile pump' case getting treatment

How about a video? Yeah, check this out:

Wow, aren't you glad you watched that?

So there you go, a potpourri of shite for your weekend. My best to you all.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


70 years ago today Japan decided it was a good idea to bring the United States into WW II, not a great decision by them. By the way, the official death toll for the Pearl Harbor attack - 2,402. The official death toll for the 9/11 attacks - 2,973.

We will never forget either of these sad days, and we once again thank all of the brave men and women who served, were injured or paid the ultimate price for the freedoms we enjoy every day. Remember, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

Meanwhile, Wil has adjusted to his new, temporary living quarters and low and behold, the guitars are slowly making their way out of the closet. I don't have the room I did for all of them like I did before so I managed to set aside a little corner and only keep out what I need, which seems to be these 4.

Yeah, had to downsize a little bit.

This pic also serves as your official update on Wil growing his hair out again as mentioned in a previous post. As you can see we are now at "Jack Nicholson" stage.

Wil is also enjoying his new Samsung Stratosphere. I am happy to report that I've got most of it down and strangely I am mostly using the virtual qwerty keypad for texting and not the physical qwerty slider that I had to have. I've still got a few things to work on but I'm sure I'll get them down soon as I am one of those people that has to know how everything works, no features left undiscovered. It even came with the naked Asian woman wallpaper! Hells yeah! Look at the detail on this pic I snapped off.

Jeez, I'm glad I took this cause I couldn't see that the date was 2 days off with my own eyes.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my loving wife, Gina.

I would be absolutely nothing without her. I can't even breathe when I get up in the morning until I talk to her. I am completely helpless without her. Sometimes I get scared at night and she comforts me. I literally can't function as a human being without her. I read at a 3rd grade level before I met her. Food doesn't taste right unless she prepares it. So much more, literally too much to list!

Happy Birthday G!

(Там, которые должны держать ее счастливой какое-то время!)

Thursday, December 1, 2011


BREAKING NEWS: The Pic Of The Day has returned! Yes, it's like The Trailer Of Love 2005 up in dis bitch! Hell, I probably still got the same folder full of pics. That's ok, Heff and I are the only ones here that have seen 'em before anyway. Enjoy!

Speaking of phones, or should I say, personal entertainment camera social media movie watching gadgets that you can also use somewhat as a phone, I just ordered this bad fella tonight, and I got it for little or:

Thank you Mr New Yorker. Now here it is:

Samsung Stratosphere

Now some of you might recall awhile back Wil ordered a new superphone and ended up returning it the next day. It was just too damn involved for me. But the big issue that I just could not get over was the damn touch screen! I frickin' hate them. I just can't get past the damn thing having no buttons. So, I found this one and did my research and we're gonna give this a try. We'll see how this one fares and I will report back with my review.

Blackhawks Vs NY Islanders tonight. Stay tuned Saturday for yet another special Birthday post! I leave you now with this, thanks for visiting Cavalcade!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

On This Day...

Just a couple more than 30+ years ago this ball of fury was unleashed on the world. Yes, Donna of "Heff and Donna" fame celebrates her spawning today, and we wish her many more here at I mean literally, I wish she was here at What can be said about Donna that hasn't already been said? I for one can't think of a damn thing. Yes, she's the thing that wet dreams are made of. She truly is too much for one man, and I've been offering Heff my assistance for years now. So Happy Birthday to her, thank God it fell on a HBAG drinking night! As usual, I'm sure Heff has gone all out to lavish her with only the finest gifts from the heart.

In other stories:

The first half of the second season of AMC's "The Walking Dead", concluded this past Sunday night and what an episode it was. I am not one to get into TV shows, I never watched "Lost" or any of those others with a cult-like following but I have followed this one from the beginning and I love it. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend watching the first season which was only 6 episodes and then catching up to where they're at now. Dammit! what the hell am I gonna do on Sunday nights now until February when it returns!?

Also in TV news, the 3rd season of the other show I follow returns Tuesday, January 17th!  "Justified" on FX starring Timothy Olyphant is a great show that I hooked onto in it's second season and then went back and watched the entire 1st season after that.  Once again, highly recommended by Wil.  I would def start with getting the 1st season via Netflix or whatever and going from there. 

I'm Wil Harrison, and this has been your Hollywood Minute.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday!


I will not be participating my own damn self but to those out today, hey, enjoy that. And while you're out, stop by your neighborhood Little Caesar's location for the $5 "Hot N Ready" special cause it totally rocks, as you can see. Me, I think I'll just stay at home today, I've had a a bit of a headache this morn.

Blackhawks Vs Ducks today at 3 PM on WGN.  This road trip has been a frickin' shipwreck thus far at 1-3, let's get it together men.  

Ya know, I decided last night that I'm gonna let my hair grow out for the first time in like 15 years.  I wonder if I can get it to do this again? 

Maybe the question should be, do I really want to?  God it did so kick ass though.  I of course still have the necessary follicle count to pull it off so why not, I've got nothing better to do?  

Aight peeps, we'll let this one stay up for a few days and I will craft another masterpiece for Tuesday or something like that.  If you can't get enough of The Commander you can also find me on Twitter and shite like that, links in the right sidebar you lazy bastards. 

Till then...

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

You're Racing Like A Fireball, Dancing Like A Ghost

Yeah, I got skillz.

The other day my nephew, Big N, came home with some loose flowers and such for his woman. After watching his feeble attempt at arranging, The Commander stepped in.

Wil - "You know I once worked at a florist right?"

Big N - "You did? I don't remember that."

Wil - "Yeah, oh wait, that was before you were born."

Big N - "Weren't you the delivery driver?"

Wil - "Yeah, but somebody had to put them back together if they fell over."

So with that, Wil once again drew on his vast data bank of knowledge gleaned from a varied employment history and came up with the fine arrangement you see here in all of about 7 minutes. I am actually pretty proud of this. Is it wrong? I think not.

I've got to get me a pair of these! Oh the hilarity! Oh the nausea.


And finally in observance of the holiday, I leave you with a H.B.A.G. classic from Thanksgiving 2007. This one comes from Wil's "Heff and Donna" folder which is chock full of pics and oddities collected over the years from his "on hiatus" blog and emails, etc. I've got hundreds of drunken pics, grill pics, bar pics, deck pics and a good amount of half naked pics that strangely only feature Heff. "Their love was forbidden..." Happy Holidays to us all!

* - Image courtesy of and under special license from Heff's Bar And Grill and Double D's Funbag Enterprises, divisions of Worldwide Heff Inc., a Delaware Corporation. All characters appearing in this work are somewhat real. Any resemblance to fictitious persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and kind of scary. This product is meant for educational purposes only. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Low in Fat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No actual turkeys were harmed in this parody, only reputations.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Train Roll On...

As mentioned the other day, Wil had to head downtown into the city Friday to take care of some bidness. Not one to pass up good blog fodder, he took along his trusty Zoom Q3 to document the journey.

7:40 AM - Gots to buy me a ticket. $4, what a bargain!

7:55 AM - The train will be here any minute. Wil will be taking the Metra Electric line from Blue Island to Millenium Station.

8:30 AM - Wil is enjoying his first ride on public transportation since he was 12. If it didn't stop every damn 4-6 blocks it would have been a little more exciting.

9:20 AM - Wil enters (oh yesth) the big city.

12:25 PM - Wil is done with his bidness and is ready to head back to suburbia. Holy frickin' wind tunnel Batman!

1:25 PM - On the train headed back home after a successful mission. All is well.

So there you have it. Wil ventured downtown and made it back home without a hitch. Now some might be thinking "What's the big deal?", "Why is Wil so incredibly hot?" or "Don't you ever go downtown?", etc. The answers are, it's not that big of a deal really, he is truly a God among men, and no, I really never go downtown. I live about 6-7 miles out the Chicago city limits but yet I rarely go there and going "downtown" is a whole 'nother deal.

I've been downtown plenty of times, especially back in my 20s for work, to go to clubs or business affairs and the like but God it's been a good 12 or so years since I've actually been back. Even when I go to see my beloved Blackhawks at The UC or White Sox at The Cell that isn't really "downtown" in what is known as "The Loop". I think what made the trip exciting/angst ridden was the fact that I was not driving myself down there which Wil is not used to being without his own vehicle, at the mercy of someone else. But in this case even I knew that public transit was the best way to go as it cost me all of $8 round-trip and the station was not more than a block from where I had to go. Not to mention the aggravation of battling traffic in the morning rush, gas and the exorbitant parking fees. Hell, it probably would have cost at least $20-$40 dollars just for parking! F that!

So that's why Wil chose Metra, "The Way To Really Fly". Hmm, that went so well maybe I'll have to go back again just for the hell of it.

Thursday, November 17, 2011


Wil reaches into his Folder O' Fun and pulls out these fine offerings.  Enjoy. 

Well she certainly looks like a nice girl.

Woman Jailed In Bizarre Sex-Related Stabbing

WGN Morning News fill-in weatherman Jim Ramsey has one of his best days ever.  

Wow, she must really be a fan of British Broadcasting. That's nice.

And finally in local news:

The Blackhawks spanked the hated Vancouver Canucks tonight 5-1 in Vancouver.

Wil cooked (heated up) an On-Cor 5 Cheese Lasagna tonight that he bought in the 2 for $6 deal last week with the Lasagna Italiano also from your friends at On-Cor. I'm gonna go with the 5 Cheese was a little bit better than the Italiano, but the sauce seemed a little cheaper, if that's even possible.

Big News! - Tomorrow Wil is going to board a commuter train (for the first time in about 31 years) and go into downtown Chicago for some bidness. Maybe I will bring along my handy ZOOM Q3 and document some of the lowlights. This might be fun, or it might be a shipwreck.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Fun For You And Your Whole...

For those of you who've never been over to, go over and check them out sometime. There you'll find some of the strangest and funniest stuff posted to Facebook. Check 'em out daily, they do come up with some great shit.


Here's some that caught my eye in the last week or so, enjoy. (Click on them to enlarge if needed)

In local news, Wil attended the christening of his great niece, Jocelyn, Sunday afternoon. She is almost 8 months old and everyone is quite fond of her cause she's like cute and a baby and shit.

Wil was quite duded up in his usual Tony Sopranoesque stylings as you can see here:

Ok, maybe we'll get a little better picture as they filter in from other sources. More fascinating updates coming soon, thank you for your patronage.